I just traded one bad habit for another. What gives?…

As someone with an addictive personality, I feel like I always have something going – one unnecessary habit or another. It’s frustrating. Why do I always need a “fix”?

I’ve always had this type of personality. Whether it was food/dieting, exercise, shopping or alcohol, I’ve always had trouble with moderation. Go big or go home. Why? That’s where my mind is this week.

I’ve been trying this sober thing for a year. The holidays have been a success so far. However, it’s not without a price tag.

At every AA meeting I go to, people are smoking. I would say a good 80 percent. Maybe that’s what helps them stay sober. So, a few nights ago when I had an urge to drink I thought “What the heck, I’ll try a cigarette instead”. And so it goes…

I started with a cigarette before heading home after work – which is my witching hour, when I would typically stop for alcohol. Well, it worked. No stop for alcohol. Relapse diverted. But now I’ve just substituted one bad habit for another. (Insert eye roll.) Ugh!! It started with one or two cigarettes a day. During the work week I have fewer opportunities to smoke. Before and after work. I’m off work for a couple of weeks so I have lots of free time. It’s all I can think about! Here’s the thing: it’s just another thing. Another distraction. Another fix. This post is not a judgement on anyone who smokes. You do you. For me, smoking is not only physically unhealthy, it’s also very mentally unhealthy.

So, where do I go from here? Obviously I need to kick the smoking habit. It’s been three weeks and has been a decent distraction, but I’m over it. It’s exhausting just hiding it, and not worth the effort – or outcome. So now what? I guess I’ll have to find a new, healthier distraction. One that’s good for my body and my mind.

Thoughts or ideas are welcomed and appreciated! 🙂

14 thoughts on “I just traded one bad habit for another. What gives?…

  1. I’m like that too. Finding the middle path is hard.
    Have you considered vaping nicotine free flavours?
    My hubby is currently trying that to stop chewing. I’ve tried it…it’s interesting. I’ve never been a smoker, but I imagine it could be a reasonable substitute.
    Better than drinking!
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Anne! I’m trying to avoid anything that contains any amount of smoking characteristics. My husband has one of “those people” – he despises any form of cigarette, e-cig, etc. Maybe I’ll become a gum chewer! Lol

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  2. Well done with the no drink though! It is by far the worse drug there is. Just because its legal people think its fine. I’m not trying to justify smoking (as i’ve been on and off the nasty little buggers for the past 6 years!) However it don’t think its anywhere near as bad as alcohol. It makes you lose your mind, create anxiety, act completely non-sensical, not to point out the obvious that it gets a lot of people in trouble. Just because its a delicacy in some parts of the world, doesn’t take away the fact that its liquid poison. You’re doing great. Keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you. So true! Thanks for the feedback and encouragement. The support through blogging is immeasurable. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I have never smoked, I have never drank in excess, but I have an addictive personality, I shop too much or I don’t shop at all, I talk too much or I don’t talk at all. There is no middle ground. I do nothing in halves. I recommend Jesus, He alone fills that void, I always need to fill. He is still working on me on being balanced! I’ll hold your hand during this time

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That “all or nothing” gets a little exhausting. I think I’m the same with my faith. I give it all up to God, then take it all back. Thanks for the reminder. Just what I needed to hear! Hugs

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am the same way, surrender to the Lord, take it back again. Or surrender to the Lord and absolutely nothing, 😢 no middle ground but we serve a faithful God

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I think learning to live with what is. Acknowledging, sharing and dealing with the need for escape/control or whatever it is. At least, that is what I have found to be true for me, although I don’t usually apply it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I’m inspired by so many great bloggers online.

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  5. I agree that Jesus fills the void. Worship is really helpful for me. I find music that speaks into my situation and helps me focus on truth instead of the lies. I can become addicted to perfectionism which turns to self hatred. Focusing on how God views me changes my perspective. The voice in my head is paralyzing, but the truth that I have in Jesus brings me back to life. I also really like listening to podcasts/sermons. I really liked the Marked series by Matt Chandler “It’s not what you do, it’s who you are” is the subtitle.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! Praise and worship
      Music has saved me from myself many times. I’m definitely gonna check out the Marked series.

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  6. Awesome! I actually haven’t listened to all of them, but I really liked the first few. The first one is called Marked by God. I think he even references Brene Brown and I was reading her book at the time, so I thought it was cool!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi – I recommend Quit Smoking the Easyway by Allen Carr. As I’m sure you know, if you do not remain sober, you might still continue to smoke and your challenge to quit both drugs becomes much more difficult. Are there any non-smoking meetings that you can attend? Good luck, as a confirmed former smoker I can tell you there is no good reason to start becoming a smoker. I really feel bad for the smokers that are puffing away in the scorching sun, or freezing cold, or pouring rain. Plus the financial and physical cost is very high, as you know. I wish you good luck and do whatever you need to stay sober!
    P.S. – I enjoy your writing – keep going. : )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the advice and encouragement. 😊

      Like

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