Labels are not excuses.

This week I was discussing a personal matter with my therapist. One I’ve managed to stuff inside or push aside for years. I’ve  resigned to the fact that I’ll never overcome it and it’s just life.  However, this time she gave a name to it. A label. Another label. This sent my brain into full-speed overload. Cartwheels and flips.

On one hand, it was a relief. It made such sense. So, maybe I’m not crazy or exaggerating or thinking things up in my head. AND, that must mean that I’m not the only one with the same messed up crap. There are actually people out there dealing with the same stuff.  I found tons of information on the internet regarding people “just like me”. Although it often feels quite lonely, it’s a minor relief to know I’m actually not alone.

On the other hand, it sucks. Just what I’ve always wanted – another label. (Insert eye roll.) Another way that I’m defective. Another “thing” that will make no sense to anyone who isn’t dealing with it themselves. Another topic for therapy that I’m not sure can be resolved. Another something to add to my list of messed up shit.

After digesting  this new label for a bit, I found myself making excuses. Excuses for past behavior and new excuses for future behaviors. “Well, if I’m this way then I can act accordingly.  I mean, if you cat beat ‘em, join ‘em, right? From now on, this will be my new excuse for avoiding actions or partaking in them, depending on how I feel – and what benefits me most. Not exactly.

I’m still not sure how I feel about this new label. I don’t think it’s something I can fix.  It’s who I am. And it sucks. While it is so tempting, the worst thing I can do is make another excuse. Another excuse to drink or withdraw or isolate or react. The consequences aren’t worth it. Today I’m telling myself that I have the labels but they don’t have me.  I mean, they’re just words. I’m so much more than a few (sucky) labels. I’m a beautiful mess – and that’s okay.


2 thoughts on “Labels are not excuses.

  1. Keep fighting for youtself! I’ve been reading lots of different recovery blogs and I’ve come to the conclusion that we are all more similar than different. Whether you’re fighting against an eating disorder, alcohol. trauma, mental health diagnosis, etc it all seems to manifest itself in similar ways. I think we’re really fighting against sin and the lies that Satan feeds us. Keep fighting those lies and replacing it with truth. Allow your label to be a door into understanding, hope, and healing. Your mess is beautiful and your story matters. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the words of encouragement. 😊


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this:
search previous next tag category expand menu location phone mail time cart zoom edit close